| Location | Basingstoke |
| Age | 4 days |
| Cause of Death | Cystic Fibrosis |
| Date of Birth | 01/12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 05/12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,858 since 13/11/2008 |
| Creator |
After 8 and a half months of a happy 'normal' pregnancy, I spent the 30th of November 2007 worried
because Keelan had not moved once. He was an extremely active baby, he would kick all the time
except when family members wanted to feel him. I didn't look pregnant until about 2 weeks before
this as the weight just appeared. (I'd been healthy and eating properly)
I had an appointment with my doctor in the afternoon and attended as normal, it was here that I was
advised to go to the hospital as they could find no heartbeat and when they eventually did it was
really faint. They said the lack of movement was normal as he would be sleeping. This was not right
as he moved from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed.
I was admitted to hospital at 3pm and was transferred to a delivery suite at midnight. Throughout
the time I was in the hospital I was attached to machines monitoring Keelan's heartbeat or rather
lack of. He still hadn't moved but the midwives didn't seem concerned. They just kept telling me he
was sleeping. My labour was going really well (although slow), I wasn't in any pain until lunch time
on the 1st of december. At this point I was given gas and air which helped. Keelan still hadn't made
much movement, although he was in the correct position.
It seemed to go down hill from there though. I was then given 2 epidurals (the first fell out) and
then an injection of pethidine. Nothing was working. By 5pm on the 1st Keelan's head and shoulders
had been delivered and a midwife was telling me she thought he'd arrive in the next 5 minutes. At
5.25pm I was transferred to theatre where Keelan was delivered by C-section.
He wasn't breathing and had major problems with his abdomen. The doctors said that he'd already
grown his wings and they wouldn't be giving him oxygen. At this point he took the tiniest breath and
so they proceeded with giving him some help. In the early hours of December 2nd, Keelan was
transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital.
At Great Ormond Street Keelan was given various tests and operations in the 3 days that he was
there. He grew his little wings on the 5th of December, after I made the heart breaking decision to
turn off his life support.
I made this decision because I was told that as a result of his large abdominal mass most of his
internal organs were under developed and currently failing. Due to a lack of oxygen during my labour
he was severely brain damaged.
I was told that even if his heart and the other organs started to function he would have no quality
of life. He would not be able to talk, walk, control any bodily functions. He wouldn't even see that
I was his mummy. I was also told he may die within hours or days and that he could go when I wasn't
around to see him.
It killed me to lose him after wanting him more than anything else in the world.
Keelan was kept a secret from most of our family until 4 weeks before his birth. This wasn't
intentional it just kind of happened. Although kept a secret from alot of people his arrival was
eagerly awaited.
He leaves behind his Mummy, Nana, Grandad and Uncle Paul, also a very large extended family.
He sits in the clouds with all his Angel friends dropping feathers from his special wings.
Loving him always and forever till its my time to fly,
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxx
so sad
so today was your birthday little man,
look over mummy and daddy on this very sad day,
play in gods garden beautiful angel.
lots of love xx
Hello sweetheart
Hello there darling. I hope that you are having funin the clouds and getting ready for your big day tomorrow.
Please look after your mummy darling as she misses you so very very much, she has made some good friends who all love her so much and want to keep her safe and loved but its not the same.
Look for my jordon for me and give her a kiss for me
night night sweetheart you are loved and missed so very much
sar
xxxx
Mummy is going to scream. Why did you have to leave me?
Life is so unfair, I wanted you so much and still do. Even when your Daddy told me not to keep you, I wouldn't listen to him. I love you so much and I hate the fact that its almost a year since you grew your Angel wings.
I'm on SANDS talking to Nathan and Jack's Mummies, but I feel so numb to what their saying.
Do you miss me where you are?
I'm going to a spiritualist fair on sunday, please be there with me.
Lots of love always and forever,
Angel hugs and kisses to my special little boy.
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sweetdreams Keelan
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_***________________ _____***_
_***________JUST____ _____***_
__***_____SENDING___ ___***___
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Beautiful Angel.
Every day and every night,
When you feel the need to hold me tight,
Just blow a kiss into the sky,for I will be that close by,
In the heavens throughout the day,I watch over you and hear you pray.
I see you smile and shed a tear,for you know that I'm still near.
I'm the Angel of your eye,
I'm your Angel in the sky.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello my little Angel,
Thank you for coming to see me yesterday, I needed that hug after the nonsense all day.
Can Mummy have your picture back and the card from Jacks Mummy? I miss them very much, just like I miss you.
Helen, Stevo and Jack sent you a birthday message today. Its the first one for your book. It made me cry when I was reading it.
Sorry I haven't been to visit you much this week, I'm finding it hard to know what to say. I cant even write the words properly :(
Lots of Angel Kisses
Love From
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello Lickle Man,
Mummy feels so bad for not leaving you a message yesterday but the world felt like it was crumbling around me. Jack's mummy has sent me some letters to open on your birthday and your angelversary. It scares me that a year has almost gone by without you here in my arms.
Nana and me have been buying bits for your first birthday. I've got you a lovely card and were getting some balloons to release. I've nearly finished your poetry book and your poems are also being put in the SANDS Anthology. I hope your proud of me.
I'm sorry we only got four days together, I wish we could have longer, I feel like we have no memories together. I just remember the way you played football inside of me, and how you didn't like it when I wasn't talking to J.
I'll let you go play now, stay safe baby boy.
Lots of Angel love and Kisses always and forever
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kisses to Heaven~
Today I sent a kiss to Heaven
I'm encouraging all of you to try
For if I have shared this with you
You have had a child die.
This kiss came from deep inside
And I know that it truly was received
Right after I had sent my kiss
A calming breeze surrounded me.
Not only that, a wind chime rang
From where I do not know
But I felt my children smile at me
And say they love me so.
Take a kiss within your hands
And look up to the sky
Release that kiss with loving care
Now please try not to cry.
Once your kiss is off to them
To Heaven's gate above
Just look for any single sign
Of your child's precious love.
~Unknown Author~
xxx
Hello Kee,
Dreamt of you last night and thought of you for ages. Its horrible here without you, I'm sure you know why as you can see everything from your clouds.
I've had an arguement with some mummies from SANDS, I didn't mean to but some of the things they were saying really hurt me. I know you were with me last night to give me a hug though. I could feel you there.
Love you
Mummy xxxxx
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