Keelan David Gordon Gillingham

After 8 and a half months of a happy 'normal' pregnancy, I spent the 30th of November 2007 worried
because Keelan had not moved once. He was an extremely active baby, he would kick all the time
except when family members wanted to feel him. I didn't look pregnant until about 2 weeks before
this as the weight just appeared. (I'd been healthy and eating properly)

I had an appointment with my doctor in the afternoon and attended as normal, it was here that I was
advised to go to the hospital as they could find no heartbeat and when they eventually did it was
really faint. They said the lack of movement was normal as he would be sleeping. This was not right
as he moved from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed.

I was admitted to hospital at 3pm and was transferred to a delivery suite at midnight. Throughout
the time I was in the hospital I was attached to machines monitoring Keelan's heartbeat or rather
lack of. He still hadn't moved but the midwives didn't seem concerned. They just kept telling me he
was sleeping. My labour was going really well (although slow), I wasn't in any pain until lunch time
on the 1st of december. At this point I was given gas and air which helped. Keelan still hadn't made
much movement, although he was in the correct position.

It seemed to go down hill from there though. I was then given 2 epidurals (the first fell out) and
then an injection of pethidine. Nothing was working. By 5pm on the 1st Keelan's head and shoulders
had been delivered and a midwife was telling me she thought he'd arrive in the next 5 minutes. At
5.25pm I was transferred to theatre where Keelan was delivered by C-section.

He wasn't breathing and had major problems with his abdomen. The doctors said that he'd already
grown his wings and they wouldn't be giving him oxygen. At this point he took the tiniest breath and
so they proceeded with giving him some help. In the early hours of December 2nd, Keelan was
transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital.

At Great Ormond Street Keelan was given various tests and operations in the 3 days that he was
there. He grew his little wings on the 5th of December, after I made the heart breaking decision to
turn off his life support.

I made this decision because I was told that as a result of his large abdominal mass most of his
internal organs were under developed and currently failing. Due to a lack of oxygen during my labour
he was severely brain damaged.

I was told that even if his heart and the other organs started to function he would have no quality
of life. He would not be able to talk, walk, control any bodily functions. He wouldn't even see that
I was his mummy. I was also told he may die within hours or days and that he could go when I wasn't
around to see him.

It killed me to lose him after wanting him more than anything else in the world.

Keelan was kept a secret from most of our family until 4 weeks before his birth. This wasn't
intentional it just kind of happened. Although kept a secret from alot of people his arrival was
eagerly awaited.

He leaves behind his Mummy, Nana, Grandad and Uncle Paul, also a very large extended family.

He sits in the clouds with all his Angel friends dropping feathers from his special wings.

Loving him always and forever till its my time to fly,

Mummy xxxxxxxxxxx