| Location | Basingstoke |
| Age | 4 days |
| Cause of Death | Cystic Fibrosis |
| Date of Birth | 01/12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 05/12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,860 since 13/11/2008 |
| Creator |
After 8 and a half months of a happy 'normal' pregnancy, I spent the 30th of November 2007 worried
because Keelan had not moved once. He was an extremely active baby, he would kick all the time
except when family members wanted to feel him. I didn't look pregnant until about 2 weeks before
this as the weight just appeared. (I'd been healthy and eating properly)
I had an appointment with my doctor in the afternoon and attended as normal, it was here that I was
advised to go to the hospital as they could find no heartbeat and when they eventually did it was
really faint. They said the lack of movement was normal as he would be sleeping. This was not right
as he moved from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed.
I was admitted to hospital at 3pm and was transferred to a delivery suite at midnight. Throughout
the time I was in the hospital I was attached to machines monitoring Keelan's heartbeat or rather
lack of. He still hadn't moved but the midwives didn't seem concerned. They just kept telling me he
was sleeping. My labour was going really well (although slow), I wasn't in any pain until lunch time
on the 1st of december. At this point I was given gas and air which helped. Keelan still hadn't made
much movement, although he was in the correct position.
It seemed to go down hill from there though. I was then given 2 epidurals (the first fell out) and
then an injection of pethidine. Nothing was working. By 5pm on the 1st Keelan's head and shoulders
had been delivered and a midwife was telling me she thought he'd arrive in the next 5 minutes. At
5.25pm I was transferred to theatre where Keelan was delivered by C-section.
He wasn't breathing and had major problems with his abdomen. The doctors said that he'd already
grown his wings and they wouldn't be giving him oxygen. At this point he took the tiniest breath and
so they proceeded with giving him some help. In the early hours of December 2nd, Keelan was
transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital.
At Great Ormond Street Keelan was given various tests and operations in the 3 days that he was
there. He grew his little wings on the 5th of December, after I made the heart breaking decision to
turn off his life support.
I made this decision because I was told that as a result of his large abdominal mass most of his
internal organs were under developed and currently failing. Due to a lack of oxygen during my labour
he was severely brain damaged.
I was told that even if his heart and the other organs started to function he would have no quality
of life. He would not be able to talk, walk, control any bodily functions. He wouldn't even see that
I was his mummy. I was also told he may die within hours or days and that he could go when I wasn't
around to see him.
It killed me to lose him after wanting him more than anything else in the world.
Keelan was kept a secret from most of our family until 4 weeks before his birth. This wasn't
intentional it just kind of happened. Although kept a secret from alot of people his arrival was
eagerly awaited.
He leaves behind his Mummy, Nana, Grandad and Uncle Paul, also a very large extended family.
He sits in the clouds with all his Angel friends dropping feathers from his special wings.
Loving him always and forever till its my time to fly,
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxx
Sorry its been so long since I left you a message or lit you a candle. I've been so busy sorting out the forms from the home office and the silly man in winchester. Nana and I are nearly sorted with having you moved. I'm hoping it wont take too much longer. We've picked out the area your be moved to, just waiting for the go ahead.
Thank you for the feathers you sent Nana when we were in town on Monday, I knew you'd be with us. Especially watching over me while I had my lasting tribute done just for you. It didn't hurt, but I was a little upset that you Grandad and Uncle don't like where I've had it put. :( I just wanted it somewhere that everyone will see it.
Did you like the balloon Nana brought you?
I'm hoping your be with me on Friday when I say goodbye to Jamie's Nan. It'll be so hard to be at her funeral when the last ones I went to were yours and Grandad's. I'll need a big angel hug from my special little boy.
Missing you always, forever and a day, but loving you so much for and for even longer. Fly high baby,
Lots of Love, Mummy x x x x x x x x x x x
Happy Fathers Day Keelan,
I know that wherever your Grandad Darryl is he'll be thinking of his lickle man.
Yesterday me and Jamie went shopping for our presents, we talked about you and the fact I've been trying to buy you a balloon on a stick for your special place but unfortunately had no luck :( we went into a card shop and while we were chatting one of your songs came on the radio. Its been ages since I've heard anything to remind me of you and there you were playing our song. It made me think about you lots.
Send Grandad Darryl and Uncle Paul a message today and let them know your with them.
Missing you always my gorgeous little boy, thank you for everything you do with me and all my little signs.
Loving you, today, tomorrow, always and forever,
Lots of Love
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jamie sends a hug too x
Hello Lickle Man,
Its father's day on Sunday, and Mummy has to try and find Grandad something special. I wish you were here so that you could help me choose a gift and make the wrapping paper and card look nice. We'll all be thinking of you, and we'll come see you too.
Thank you for being with me this week baby, while I had my operation. It hurt alot but I know you were there to give me special hugs and kisses.
I got a letter from Camden this week, another little thing to make me realise you wont be coming home.
I'm spending the weekend with Jamie again. He wants to see your poem book.
Lots of love baby boy,
Love your Mummy xxxxxxxxxx
Hello Lickle Man,
Sorry its so late, but Mummy has been extra busy this week. I've got you lots of new toys to play with as both you and I have been a bit spoilt! I hope you like the Blue Butterfly that Nana and I chose when Grandad took us to Burley. Have you seen the matching ones we have on the shelves at home?
On Monday I went shopping in town with Jamie and he brought you a teddy bear for your special place to go with the flowers that I got you.
We went to Shirley on Tuesday and found a little shop that sells all the angels and stones that I collect, when I was talking to the lady that ran the shop I saw a lickle Opalite angel, its so dinky your miss it if you don't look hard enough. Before I could pay for it Jamie had given the lady the money, he's done that alot this week. He brought you a trinket box to sit on my shelf with one that I brought you myself. They are both part of the same set.
Yesterday, we went to Bournemouth and walked along the beach. We got you a big windmill made out of blue and silver foil, like the coloured one already in your special place. This one is bigger and better though and looks lovely in the wind. :) We also got a lovely Snowglobe, it has two Penguins in it (a mummy and her baby). While walking in the sand I found you some shells, just like I used to when I went to the beach with you Nana, Grandad and Uncle Paul. I'll keep them with the feathers you've left me recently.
Today, we went for a drive and ended up in winchester. Where Jamie brought you an 'in the night garden' figure to go with the ones from your birthday. He also brought a little Cherub. These are for you special place. Mummy needed a new book for all her special thoughts and he brought me that too, its got Butterflies on it, so i'll be reminded of you always. :)
Thinking of you always, beautiful boy. Sleep tight and don't let the angel bugs bite,
Love always and forever Mummy xxxxxxxxx
Hello, my gorgeous boy,
Today I've been thinking about you alot, because today it finally felt so real that you've left me. Your Great-Great-Grandad's inheritence money came through today, seeing the cheque hurt, because it made it more final that neither him or you is coming back to us. We miss you both so much.
I hope your safe with Grandad, and thats he not too upset with me for not telling him about you when I was pregnant with you. I'm also sorry that I didn't see him before he left to be with you and our Nan's. Give him a big hug from me.
I know you can see me crying, but I promise you my tears are happy ones. Remembering happy times with Grandad and imagining what fun your having together. I bet your being spoilt rotten.
Love forever and a day my baby boy,
Always in our thoughts and forever in our hearts,
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey lickle man,
I miss you so much, everything reminds me of you. Your always on my mind, even if I haven't had a chance to leave you a candle or come see you. I've been sorting out all the paperwork to have you moved somewhere special.
I love you so so much and I'd give anything to have you back in my arms.
Love you Keelan, forever and a day,
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi wee man
hi there im doin a charity match tomorro to raise money for sands im sending a balloon to your angel , make sure you catch it all my love karen and wee angel robert x x x x x
════╔══╗Gone But
════║══║Not Forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗♥ ♰ ♥ ♰
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═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put This On Your
════║══║Page If you have
════║══║someone in
════║══║Heaven's Garden
Hello, my beautiful little Angel.
We've had the forms signed now for the home office to move your ashes somewhere else, so that your toys don't get broken and we don't have more complaints made about you.
I miss you so much, I've brought you lots of Angel teddies and ornaments this week. I hope you like them.
Thank you for looking after me with the very difficult situation I was in. I knew you were here with me all the time.
Lots of Love always and forever,
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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